In our “Creating the Impossible” group this week, we’ve been exploring what it is to give and receive advice. Now, I’m someone who hates being told what to do. I love coaching because it enables my clients to get quiet and access their own wisdom – not look for advice on the outside. Yet, I know that also my own wisdom speaks to me as a coach sometimes and I end up sharing what I see with my clients – sometimes this comes out as advice.
I’m not a great receiver of advice – it often feels like the process illustrated in this picture! And yet I could see as we got together as a group to play with this, that although it often feels to me that people are telling me to “take my advice dammit!”, I’m seeing that through the filter of my own thinking. Very well meaning advice can often seem threatening when I see it this way – not at all as the adviser intended it.
We were allowed two responses to advice in our group – “Thank you” or “Tell me more”. Suddenly I see there’s no need to feel angry, affronted or upset when people offer me what appears to be unsolicited advice. The only thing causing me upset is the thinking I have about what they’ve said, or the meaning I attribute to why they’ve said it. The bottom line is all I need to do is choose whether to politely thank them and move on, or notice what piques my interest and explore further.
Those people offering advice are merely opening up more possibilities to me, more signposts along my journey. Whether I choose to take them or not is entirely up to me, and best guided by my innate wisdom.
Some of the time, this advice may seem to be entirely out of tune with how I see my life unfolding. But once in a while, I may stumble across an advice signpost which points me in a direction that I never would have noticed by myself – that opens me up to an exciting new direction, to new discoveries.
The net effect of a lot of advice giving this week in our group seems to have been a lot of new ideas and possibilities all round, with one new thought triggering the next, like dominoes falling.
So my advice, mainly to myself, is to open myself up to advice and see its value – knowing that wisdom will be my ultimate guide.
If you’d like to know more about where to find this peace of mind and this is a conversation you’d be interested in having, please get in touch to find out more about working with me – Contact Me.